You can't lose me- Faith Hill

A little girl, a little small for her age

A little too slow for the field day race

Momma's waiting at the finish line

And wipes the teardrops from her eyes

She says, You did just fine, honey, that's okay

Sometimes life's just that way

You're gonna lose the race from time to time

But you're always gonna find

You can't lose me

Bet your life

I am here, and I will always be

Just a wish away

Wherever you go

No matter how far

My love is where you are

You won't be lost if you believe

You can't lose me

Momma used to say, Girl it won't be long

'Til it's time to go out on your own

Chase your dreams, find your place in life

I know you'll do just fine

When that day finally came

There were things she needed to, but could not say

So I whispered softly as I wiped

The tears from Momma's eyes

You can't lose me

Bet your life

I am here, and I will always be

Just a wish away

Wherever you go

No matter how far

My love is where you are

You won't be lost if you believe

You can't lose me

We were at Lone Star the other night and this came on and I couldnt stop the tears from coming.

The diagnosis

Part of my moms biopsy result came back on Thurs. They ended up Biopsing the Liver to avoid collapsing her lung. She has Small Cell Lung Cancer. There are two types and she has the 'extensive' one since it has spread to her liver. It is a very aggressive cancer, statistically she has less than a year. She starts chemo on Tues and that will really help with the pain with her Liver, so im very glad that will reduce/stop?? the pain. Im a little irked with her oncologist. He told her when she's feeling better to go ahead and go back to work!!. She's a tiny woman and is a waitress and was having a hard time with the trays before, she should have really stopped working a couple years ago. Apparently he never told her the outcome of her cancer. He was very optimistic with her which is great, but left out very vital information. Leaving her with the assumtion that she'll be fine. He had even said that this cancer almost always comes back. There is no almost about it. It always comes back, AlWAYS. I told her not to go back to work. That when she's feeling better to go do things she likes or hasn't had the chance to do. My oldest sister has gone to the appointment too and when i told her al the stuff i read about it she was floored saying the Dr didnt say any of that. I know the internet is scary when it comes to medical information, but site after site i hit was the same, maybe slightly different % numbers. We leave tomorrow for 3 weeks and then i plan on flying out again in June and then hopefully again in Aug.
I'll try to update when im there. I'll feel much better once i see her.

4 month check up

Abbie had her shots today :o(, though she did really well. She weighed 16.6 and was just over 25 1/2 inches tall. 95th %ile all the way around. The Dr said we can start her on foods. We may give her a taste here and there but she's still really happy with just the boob.

Go karts and Bass Pro

The puppies name is Abbie too :o)

Kaitlen put her in the chair

Butterfly Palace

I know what she's thinking, she's thinking,"I'll eat you!!"

Poison dart frog

Scorpion

Some kind of lizard, though you can see him very well here. It was really hard to find him in his cage.

Miniature Golf

I will say that i have no Tigger Woods living in my house. The best Golfer was probably Kaitlen, then Code and then Thomas. I could say for age wise that Matthew would beat Thomas.

Isn't he cute!!

Poor Abbie, still in her carseat, but atleast she's awake now

We topped the evening off with some icecream from an icecream parlor!!!!

The kids and their cones, then Bens sugar high on a plate. Ok i had a funnel cake to but only had a scope of icecream on it. Non of that other stuff on it :o)

Bumper Boats

Kaitlen got to ride by herself. I was so nervous. Turned out the only reason she met the highth requirement was her 1 1/2 inch sandles, lol

Ben and Matthew

Thomas

Code

Water fight!!

Abbie slept through it

Matthew and Kaitlen, a little wet and a little cold

Branson

Sheryl, your post about spring break made me remember i haven't posted that we went to Branson. AFter 4 yrs of being here we finally went. We left Tues afternoon and came back Thurs afternoon. Ben said we could stay home and i told him no, that we should go. All i would do at home is sit and stare at the phone waiting for it to ring. So instead i stared at the phone in Branson waiting for it to ring :o/
Branson is GREAT. It is like a mini Vegas without the gambling and since we don't gamble it is perfect. The first day we took the kids to the bumper boat and miniature golf and had dinner at shoneys. The next day we went to THe butterfly Palace and Rainforest adventure.We all enjoyed that. After that everyone except me and Abbie did the go-carts. They had a blast. I got very nervouse waching them. We ate the buffet at grand country? is that what it was called. It was very good. We walked around there for a bit. Then we drove around and by accident ended up at The Bass Pro shop. yea. so we went in and Matthew was like a kid in a candy shop. He wanted it all,lol. Yep he was born in Ar. We then went and lookd at the boats outside and happened upon the River walk?? we walked all the way down that and the kids had a blast at a play area at Joes crab shack. We got popcorn and on the way back to our room stopped off at Maggie Moo's for an icecream. Then left Thurs morning. I'll post pics later.

More update

She saw the lung Dr today. He said he's 99% sure it's cancer. She'll have the biopsie next week. Her oxygen level was 55% so she is on oxygen now. Once they find out the type of cancer they'll start chemo. Her liver is causing her pain because it's full of fluid, which my mom said they said it'll get better as her oxygen goes up and the chemo starts working. SHe cant remember if they were going to biopsie the liver or not. so we have a plan and hope. we are leaving a week from Sun to go see her. We plan on spending 3 weeks. Ben will be taking the kids out everyday on an extreme Vegas vacation. I know he's going to take them to Disneyland and also go visit his dads grave.

Litle bit of an update

I talked to my mom today and her bone scan came back fine, but her lung scan came back with tumors on her lungs. She goes tomorrow to the lung Dr and then will have a biopsy done next week to see if it's cancer. None of the Dr's have mentioned a liver biopsy. She is a life long smoker. She is 59 now. If it is cancer I imagine it stared in her lungs and metastisized to her liver. It's never good when it has moved. I know I'm jumping the gun, but im expecting the worse and hoping for the best.
We canceled our Florida vacation and will be going to Vegas. We can spend 2 weeks maybe 3 (really stretching it) then we have to come home. We are looking to leave right after Easter, sadly it depends on money. THe kids will be missing school. Not really bad for Cody as he's in 1st grade, but Thomas is in 9th so it'll be harder. I need to go talk to the school next week.

Abbies teeth

I've been meaning to post this all day and since i'm on here i should do it. Last night i was rubbing her gums and the teeth hadn't broke through yet. Well this morning Ben goes to rub her gums and WALAAHHH, two teeth. That explains her restless night.

My Mom

We found out today that my mom has masses on her liver "to numerous to count". We don't know if it's cancer yet. The Dr has ordered more tests for tomorrow and the next day. If it is cancer they want to find out if it started somewhere else. My head is spinning right now. It just doesn't sound good.

Happy St Patrick's Day

The day were everyone is a wee bit Irish.....
May you be poor in misfortune, rich in blessings, slow to make enemies, quick to make friends; but rich or poor, quick or slow, may you know nothing but happiness from this day forward.—Traditional Irish toast

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Visited with Ashley and Lily

Omgosh she is cute. Her hair is crinky curly. She was asleep, i must remember not to come at nap time. Matthew was a maniac, nonstop. Ashley is now aware of everything that needs to be moved to toddler proof, LOL. I should hire Matthew out ;o) I tried to get Abbie to laugh, but she wouldnt. Though she did fart for Ashley. My lady of a daughter.i didnt bring my camera, sorry no pics :o(

pics