Finally

Finally after very close to 4 years of being missing/captured Sgt.Matt Maupin will be coming home. His remains were found and DNA showed it was him. Now if they can just bring Capt. Michael Speicher home. He's been missing since 1991. I've watched stories about him.

WOW

I was cleaning stuff out and when i grabbed Bens LASD jacket it felt heavy so I empied out the pocket and the first paper I open was Deputy David Piquette's numbers that he wrote down for Ben.

Mom

I talked to Tina and had her put Mom on the phone so i could say Hi. It was real brief. "Hi Mom. You doing ok? I Love you, Bye"
Well I guess after mom got off the phone with me they asked her who she had talked too. mom didn't know. They told mom it was me when they gave her the phone. They asked her was it lisa? She either said IDK or No. But either way she didnt know. She sounded like she knew she was talking to me :( That hurt so bad to hear that. I'd like to think she knew it was me. I know the cancer is taking control of her brain.
I feel so so bad for Tina and Jackie because they are right there in front of Mom having to care for her and she's saying things and doing things that don't make sense and it's hurting them.

Sorry for the depressing post.
Much love my friends :)

Another one out there.

Oh, Hey Sheri. Don't read my blog either, MM-K. I don't intrude in your life stay out of mine.
My blog tells me who on it right now :O

Mom's declining

Here dementia is worse. She is dropping her cups. Sometimes she's unable to feed herself and only eats a couple bites. Her urine has gotten darker.
i'll type more later.

Our Earth Hour

We went with candle light. 3 candles. This is without my flash.

For the 1st 20 minutes the kids ran around like maniacs. Then they calmed down and started playing

Here is abbie playing in the dark but with my flash it would light the room. I had to kinda point and shoot.

It blows balls out and she likes the wind

I took a random shot and matthew posed and the others were stretching, lol.

after that they did jumping jacks and push ups

Eventually we were down to the last 20 minutes and they were a little antsy after no one wanting to make up a new game they all decided it was time for a bathroom break. with about 10 minutes left i figured a potty break by candle light would eat up the last 10 minutes. so we head out and sure enough there was only 2 minutes left when all was said and done. Oh, AF had to make a grand appearance at the end of Earth Hour too. Always butting in when she's not welcome ;)

Crooked Thomas

Oh Auntie Tina!!

Kaitlen wants this purse. Its a 400$ Coach and she says she's going to fill it with all bubble gum, just bubble gum. I'm guessing pink bubble gum. She says it has a little lock on it and nobody can get into it.
SO come her B-day if your trying to decide between a Barbie and this Coach, i'm guessing the Coach, LOL.

Earth Hour Reminder

Dont forget Earth Hour tonight at 8pm your time.Turn your lights off!!

Mikasa French Country side

For Christmas my mom sent me money to buy myself something for ME. Well i didn't quit know what to get. Talking with my sister Jackie she said get something for the home. Something that will last. So after much thinking I decided on the the same set of dishes that my mom has. Jackie will be getting our moms set (my mom had all the extras, I'll have to buy them one at a time like mom did) My brother Michael has the same set too. So it'll just really remind me of mom and our family when we sit down to eat. They are really nice heavy dishes and you can use them daily not once a year. So i should get them in a week or so.
I didn't buy mine from Mikasa i got them from Amazon.

my trip

My visit with my mom.
I got there on Fri after a good flight. My brother Michael picked me up from thet airport. When i saw my Mom it was indescribable. She was so thin, so so thin and drawn and that horrible bruise. She look so different from back in Dec when i was there. She was in pain, constant pain. (Hospice has since changed her meds around and she is better from what i hear now) It didn't take long for me to see some confusion in her eyes and the dementia was there. Not bad, but enough to catch you off guard. She would get up in the AM and get her liquid Morphine (orally) have her coffee outside, sit and talk. Michael would make breakfast and we'd all eat until we could pop. and around 11,12 or 1 depending on the day mom would take like a 4-5 hour nap. and then Michael would make an enormous dinner. Im not joking either. Mom eats pretty good. The day before i left her ankles started swelling. Her body is not processing fluids as it should. It is pushing it into the tissues instead of filtering it out of her body.
The night before i left i talked to mom in her room. (she was surprised that i was leaving in the AM as no one had told her i was leaving on tues. :( we had told her several times. so i said it must have gotten left out with the arrival of so many of us. my uncle was there too)
We talked and i told her I will miss her and that it's hard. She told me I'd be ok. That its hard for her only because of us kids. I told her I'd miss her saying "Hey, Baby" she said that there was a time I didn't want her to say that because i wasn't a baby. And she said I'd always be her baby. Well, im glad she didnt stop saying it. We talked about who she'd see. She'd see Little Momma- her grandmother. Nana- her Mom, Jim- the man she should be married to but he died 12 yrs ago, Michael- her first husband he just died a couple months ago. David- Tinas first husband, uncle Billy- my moms uncle, My grandma Grace- my dads mom, shoot Betty and Bill- Bens parents. We talked about Toby her dog she put down in Dec and Nolo JIms dog who she had to put down when jim died. Dutches- my Nanas dog who my mom got when Nana died and she had to be put down to i think she was 19 yrs old. Tealee- our dog when we were little and i told her snowball our cat might be there but he'd be a little mad, as my mom had ran him over. She laughed she thought it was funny. Ofcourse there are a lot more people that will be there to welcome my mom.
Friday morning. i woke up at 4am because i couldn't sleep and laid there until 6:30. got up showered, got ready and not wanting to wake anyone waited for them to get up. It was about 7:15. We ate and had coffee took a couple pics and before we knew it it was 9am. i had to go. I kissed my Mom about 100 times. I didn't want to leave. that was it. My brothers took me to the airport.
My first flight to DFW was crazy we were going down the runway, engines going pretty good and all of a sudden the engines wind down and the pilot slams on the brake. Tower control told them to stop. we were going to hit another plane. Our flight had a lot of turbulence and from what i could tell we had a pilot who flew like a teenager drives. my flight from DFW to Tulsa was fine. I missed the kids horribly and when i got to them i got lots of hugs and i went to put my hands out for Abbie and she looked at me like Are you for real? are you really there? and hugged me and wouldn't lift her head up. Like she got me and was never letting go. I will never leave her again.

Poison - Something to Believe In

When Cody grows up

This was all one piece but I had to scan it in two pieces

And see, he already has the handwriting of a Dr. ;)

ETA: I meant to add that he actually wants to be a Medical Examiner. It took him awhile to decide if he wants to help the living or the dead and the dead it is. I think having 4 people close to him die in 3 yrs has something to do with it.

Ashley

Watched the kids while I was gone so the Easter Bunny could go shopping. Which is a HUGE step for Ben. Ashley is the first non family member to watch our kids. Other than her is was my BIL and SIL Lani and Anna. I cant recall if Betty ever watched the kids. I think I was always with her but we ofcourse would have let her.

I love these pics of K. LOL. thats her tball hat. The kids got to decorated it them selves and on the top she put ramdom letters P,A,Y,O,M. and by the time we got home from tball she took the gem stickers off and it looked pretty bad. So i peeled her letters off and redecorated it. You can still see some of her white on it. i might go over it with a red sharpie. She loves her hat now.

Jackie

Got Mom some lilies and they bloomed so beautiful. it was dark out when i took these, but I'm going to send Jackie some copies.

Mom

Mom and Michael
Me kissing Mom
Jackie and Derek
Me and Jackie
Me and mom, the bruise is from that fall she had

I'll type stuff tomorrow

Hey baby. thats what my mom says. im going to miss it.

Happy Easter everyone. have a great day.

Pretty good day. layed back. mom took a long nap. we are bbqing tonite. mom eats good still. getting ready 4 tomorrow.

Mom has a horrible black eye from her fall the other day. from mid cheekbone to 3 inches above her eye. it looks bad.

I arrived at moms. my flight was good. mom does NOT look good. skin and bones. very hard abdomen. some mild demensia..more later

Heading out

In the AM. I fly out of Tulsa, XNA didn't have the flight dates i needed. they (AA) only allow so many grievance fairs per flight and it was crazy how fast they were booking. Kaitlen is already saying she's going to miss me and Matthew wants to go with me :( It's going to be an emotional departure.
I might update using my phone. Keep me and my family in your thoughts and prayers.
Much Love,
Me

Easter Dress

Here is the finished dress. I took a couple pics to share because I wont be here for Easter to post any and you'd have to wait untill Tuesday to see them. Ashley made them there bows for their hair. Ben will be doing their hair on Sunday :s

IHOP horton pancakes

Cool drinksEven cooler pancakes
Abbie enjoying some coffee