Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Cody

Ok, this might get long and I might bounce around just hang in there.

Cody has had a couple things going on that has made Ben and i stop and talk about it and both of us thinking that he needs to see a counselor or something. He will get very frustrated/angry, well beyond what ever the situation called for. Not all the time just here and there. Just totally out of character. Then the other night before bed he was saying that he really doesn't like school, that he has no friends. When in fact he does have friends and I asked him to name off a couple and he immediately named off 5. I've gone to his class party's i know he has friends i've seen him with them. When we talked more about it he started to get emotional so i really wasnt seeing what he was actually trying to tell me, you know?? I told him I'd talk to Daddy and we'll figure it out. So the next day when Code was at school I started telling Ben about our conversation and on his way to work he decided to stop off and talk with the Principal. They talked for a bit and Ben let him know about the loss in Codys life. My FIL died when Cody was 3 (02)and Cody litterally saw him everyday of his life, hours everyday. He watched us care for him at home on hospice. Then 9 months later his Uncle Jr died (03). we got to visit with him several times and Cody will still talk about the bacon uncle Jr made. Then Codes 'Grandpa' Hugh (it was actually his great-great uncle) Passed away (04). I think Matthew was just a week or two old when he passed. Then the absolute worst thing that could have happened to Cody was he lost his Nana, Jan 06. That crushed him to the core. It changed our little boy. Then my mom gets dx'd with cancer in march of 07 dies in April of 08 a few days later Cody's Uncle dies, but since we knew we wouldn't be at the funeral we didn't tell him for several months. We've had 6 loved ones die in 5 yrs. well then 3 weeks after my mom dies Sheila, Tina's first MIL dies. Cody don't remember her but he still saw me effected by it.
The principle made a good point to Ben. That while Cody has friends, he thinks he doesn't because he's keeping them distant for fear of loosing them. He said it's something he's seen in the past as an administrator, just his observation.
Today was Codys first day with the counselor at school. Ben got to talk to her after school let out and she is just so impressed with how intelligent Cody is. She didnt know any of Codes history when talking to him it was after she saw Code that she received an email from Mr W and she said that she wants to continue further with him and what she now knows helps explain a lot. Before, all she had to go off of is what his teacher told him and that was his attention span is ziltch (my words, lol) and he runs on Cody time(my words again) not class time. This has been Cody from day 1 all the way back to Kindergarten............ it def needs to be addressed. So we have kinda two things going on. She's going to work on him being on task and stuff too. Cody WANTS to talk to her and was glad to do so today. Today was a very positive day in that we all agree there is *something* and everyone wants to get to the root of it. Cody too, or he wouldn't have been so open about it.
Code's 2nd grade teacher, to help him stay on task had a timer just for Cody so he could visually see where he was at with it all. She laughed when i told he about "Cody's time" because it was oh so true in her class. She adores him and she cant wait until she gets kaitlen in her class. Even Codys 1st grade teacher wants kaitlen too.
Another thing that was bothering Cody was he has a mustache. He has ALWAYS had a mustache. Even his dentist when he was 3 pointed out his stache! lol. Its just peach fuzz but its dark hair not blond. Well, the kids have made fun of it this year. Alot. So after saying everything under the sun to make him feel better and nothing worked cause the kids are little brats. I bleached his stache. Photobucket I had several concerns about doing that, but when i told him to go rinse the rest of the stuff off his face he didnt realize i went to follow him to the bathroom and i heard him say,"YES" when he looked in the mirror. When i heard his relief, i felt better. After all one day he'll be shaving it off. just not today.

I'm gonna guess this was my longest blog ever!!! lol. I'll update as we move along with all this.



Photobucket

3 comments:

Hopefulsap said...

Ya'll are great parents! It is so great that he's wanting to talk to the counselor more, and I hope it helps him move through what is bothering him quickly.

I'm glad the hair bleaching stuff helped him feel better to, I think that was a great option for him!

Hugs you guys, ya'll are awesome!

Tina said...

I wont write what i wrote in my text... :) So i guess i cant say much.

Krimmyk said...

I am glad he is opening up with the councilor! He was one up on me. I had 11 members of my family and friends, one of my best friends was one of the hardest, all died between me being 13-14, I already had emotional issues I just shut down. And I think we have since talked together about how I work it out...not that well.

Kudos to you guys for seeing the issue and working in a way to not draw him into himself further.